Childfree slang

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There is a growing corpus of slang terminology used by some childfree people, some of it borrowed from other groups or pop culture. The terms are often derogatory in nature, generally focusing on names for parents ("breeder," "Moo," and "Duh"), babies ("fleshloaves"), unruly children ("crotchdropping"), and lifestyle choices ("baby rabies" as a reference to the strong desire to have a child).

Many of these terms originated in usenet or forums where the active population tend to be hyper-critical, such as the news:alt.support.childfree group. Much of this terminology is not seen as representative of childfree persons in general, with some seeing it as counterproductive in the context of the political aspirations.

No Wikipedia entry on this, although there used to be a list within the childfree article. A "lexicon of spawn" exists to serve as a glossary of these terms in the alt.support.childfree community.

[edit] A Lexicon

Ankle biter
A child.
AP
Attachment parenting. A trend of carrying babes in a sling, co-sleeping, long-term breastfeeding and gentle "discipline", all in the mistaken belief that parent and child can somehow "live as friends" without the kid becoming just another inevitably spoiled-rotten hellion.
Baby Dance
Sex, to those who consider it to be for baby-making alone. Breeder term for sex. In other words, they see sex as only useful for conceiving babies. Occasionally someone on a childfree board will mention they have a friend who can't stop talking about baby dancing.
Babydust
A virtual gift sent to women who are trying to conceive.
Baby-rabies
Obsession with having or conceiving a child; the state of believing that one absolutely must have children as soon as possible, whatever the cost. A condition in which one develops an inexplicable and insatiable desire for a child. Good cures include babysitting and going to places where children are left screaming and unattended (such as libraries or malls). When someone is desperate to get pregnant and have a baby, we call them having “baby rabies”. Especially if they can’t talk about anything BUT pregnancy and babies.[1]
Babysell
A word that defines the glossy, romanticized view of motherhood, often seen in diaper, formula, or latter-day saints commercials.
Baby stalking
The act of a parent or caregiver of an infant blatantly trying to get someone to comment on their child. This may include following anyone who does not react to the child, while cooing at the baby or affecting an exaggeratedly cute manner with it, in order to elicit a reaction. This is accompanied by a loud and/or sing-songy voice (obviously for the onlookers' benefit and not the child’s) and many looks with a big but artificial smile on their face. They are fishing for compliments and are best ignored.
Bingo
A statement directed towards a childfree person which disapprovingly questions the childfree lifestyle. The act of a non-childfree person unnecessarily questioning a childfree-person's stance in order to convince the latter to change their mind. Use: "I met a work colleague with 3 kids who asked why I don't have any of my own. She then proceeded to bingo me." See Breeder BINGO.
Bint
A British term meaning a woman with no class. Often used on childfree boards to describe trashy breeder women.
Blight
A form of suburban sprawl characterised by endless ratmazes of dead-end streets crowded with rows of identical buildings squeezed far too closely together by greedy but unimaginative developers. In every major city, this comes with impassible traffic jams of vehicles attempting to get out of these suburbs into the city every morning and back every night. See Breederville, McMansion.
BNP
"Breeder, Not Parent"; a "breeder" in the specific sense (see below). Some people use the term BNP instead of “Breeder” because it sounds less insulting. It basically refers to a bad parent (in contrast to “PNB” – a good parent.)
Boob-nazi
See "tit-nazi."
Botched Abortion
A child whose behaviour is so horrible that it disturbs everyone in a several hundred square foot area. The differences between demonsprog and other pejoratives and 'botched abortion' is the magnitude of the nuisance suffices to cause a person to modify deeply held beliefs. "Normally, I am against abortion but in that case I am willing to make an exception. If only I could go back in time." Genetic debris. A botched abortion can be used by the military as a weapon. Although anti-choice and anti-feminist, the term is only used when it is deemed necessary which is all the time.
Bovine
Another term for breeders. Useful to describe slack-jawed, slow-moving breeders – they move about the same speed as cattle.
Bratleigh
A generic first name for a child, one of many takeoffs on invented, trendy or «creative» convoluted spellings of names given to children by modern parents. Similarly, adorable l'il Bulleigh "who just wants attention and can be safely ignored" is the less-than-adorable schoolyard bully who really should be disciplined, not ignored. Ghastleigh is evidently a ghastly child and many other variants, such as Snotlynne, Slutleigh or Boogerella, are also common. The Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing forum exists to collect real-world naming atrocities.
Bratzilla, Sprogzilla
An obstreperous, often destructive child. A monstrous child who stomps through a house or restaurant shrieking and leaving destruction in its wake.
Breastaurant
Local hangout of the boob-munchers.
Breeder, breederbutt, überbreeder
Refers to a crappy parent. They have children without thinking, believe their obligation is complete after giving birth or think the world has to bend to accommodate them and their offspring. Someone who has reproduced but does not take care of his or her children properly. Someone who has had several children without weighing out the responsibilities and sacrifices involved, and once he or she has discovered those responsibilities and sacrifices, chooses not to live up to them. Is often used in a more specific sense to refer to obnoxious parents (in contrast with "parent", below). While some queer people also use this term to refer to heterosexuals, it is not strictly accurate as not all heterosexuals wish to reproduce and a significant number of queer people do. We’d rather not lump all parents together, good ones with the bad, so when we encounter a crappy parent we call them a “breeder”: a person with children who is undeserving of the term "parent."
Breeder Bingo
A game in which the bingo gamecard consists of a long list of clichéd statements, all commonly repeated in response to a person's assertion that he or she is childfree. When a breeder discovers that one is childfree and pours out bingo after bingo, the childfree person would cross off each. The said childfree person wins once five in a row are crossed out vertically, horizontally, or diagonally. Someone a few years ago made up a bingo card with the many, many stupid sayings breeders say to us, and when you get enough stupid sayings, BINGO!
Breeder Brain
See Placenta Brain.
Breedermobile
Any vehicle that transports children around. Usually refers to a minivan or a monstrous SUV.
Breeder pleaser
A childfree person who tries to appease those who are offended by childfreedom, especially one who attempts to censor the speech and opinions of other childfree people so that the non-childfree are not offended. Many childfree people would say that a "breeder pleaser" is likely to agree with Breeder Bingo statements or to express the sentiment, "I love children; I just don't want any of my own." Use of this insult is somewhat analogous to a black person calling another black person an "Uncle Tom." Any person who really kisses up to people with kids, even the stupid ones. Usually refers to a childfree person, but really can be applied to anyone.
Breedersons, (The)
Supposedly hypothetical, they are the quintessential Suburban Famblee With Children: Duhdee, Moomie, Bratlynne and Snotleigh. Rude, inconsiderate, thoughtless, and self-centred, they proudly own two massive SUVs and a McMansion in some cookie-cutter suburban blight. The kids run free range and scream, annoying neighbours while they disrupt traffic to play in streets paved upon what were once rolling green fields. They live in their cosy, cocooned, lazy middle-class-suburban world that comes at the expense of others and act as if they were entitled to that world. They bring this ruin wherever they go: noise, ugliness, cheapness, and congestion and then they claim to have moved to 'get away' from it all. [2]
Breederville
Any city, town or subdivision that is predominantly full of people with kids. Places we would rather not live!
Breed
To have children.
Bridezilla
A breed of soon-to-wed women who abuse the idea that weddings are their "day." They terrorize their bridal party and family members, make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette, to ensure that they are the single most important person on the planet from the time they are engaged to the time they are married. [3]
Calf
A child. Implicit is a comparison of the parents to cattle. See Moo.
CBC or CFBC
Stands for "Childfree by choice". Some people prefer that name to "Childfree" since many people who are not childfree in the strictest sense of the word call themselves "childfree".
CF Supporter
A parent (usually a PNB) who supports the Child-free lifestyle.
Child-burdened
Technically anyone with children. More often used to describe the people who really seem to act like their children are a burden, such as anyone who behaves as if they are jealous of the childfree.
Childfree
Anyone who has chosen not to have children, for whatever reason. One who does not wish to have children.
Child-free
Of a venue, event or activity: a place and time where no children are permitted.
Childless
A person who has no children through circumstances not of their own choosing. One who does not currently have children, but wishes to in the future. Someone who wants children but can’t have them or hasn’t had a chance to have them yet.
Cre8tive, kr3ativ
Term used to mock all the "creative" spellings people use on their kids' names. Used to describe absurd children’s names, when the parent has decided it would be trendy to choose an abnormal spelling, unusual name or excessive use of the letter Y.
Crib lizard
A baby.
Crotchcricket, crotchfruit, crumbgrinder, crumbmuncher
A child.
Crotchfruit party
A baby shower.
Cumstain
A baby. Also written with kre8ive spellings such as "li'l Cumstayne" for use as a child's name.
Deadbeat Dad
One who deceives his partner by way of pretending to be enthusiastic about fatherhood early on, but runs off once a pregnancy is confirmed and refuses to pay child support.
Demonspröggen
A particularly obnoxious demon spawn shriekling, resulting from goldensprog-type attitude of breeders.
DH, DW
Dear husband, Dear wife.
Diaperwhipped
A term for parents who are controlled by their child(ren)'s every whim. Anyone who has become a total servant to their child. This applies to all those parents who let their children run the house and make all the decisions.
DINK
"Double income no kids;" couple with no children, both of whom are employed, thereby enabling them to maintain a high standard of living. “Dual Incomes No Kids” is a term a lot of childfree people use to describe themselves. It’s also the name of a magazine.
Dud
Loser male breeder, a BNP male. Also duh or duhdie.
Duhddy
A term for a father with bad parenting skills. A male breeder.
Duh
Slack-jawed, clueless male breeder.
Empty Nester
Someone who has kids but they are grown.
Enfant Roi
A spoiled child. Literally, "the child as king".
Entitlemoo
A moo who expects the world to revolve around her for her sole accomplishment of giving birth. Entitlement-minded mother who thinks everyone should worship the ground she walks on and give her everything she wants and make her life as easy as possible because she's convinced that giving birth earns her the right to be treated like a queen.
Fartling, floor monster
A child. Also snot monsters, snot miners, yard apes, rug rats, nose miners, linoleum lizards, pablum pukers, droolmeisters.
Fence-sitter
Someone who is not yet sure if they want kids, who has not yet decided whether or not to have kids.
Fencesitter Relationship
A relationship where one party wants children and they other doesn't. Sometimes these relationships started when they were in agreement, but one party changed their minds.
Frankenspawn
One particularly monstrous child, or a freaklitter caused by misuse of fertility drugs.
Freaklitter
A large multiple birth caused by misuse of fertility drugs. When someone has a huge number of babies in one pregnancy, due to fertility treatments. Sometimes known as fuctuplets or a litter. Usually the kids end up with health problems associated with their individually low birth weights. See also fuctuplets.
Free-range child, free-range sprog
An unsupervised child, usually one who is not staying put or who is wreaking havoc in public.
Fuck-trophy
A child, especially one that is shown around by a parent as evidence of their achievements in the fertility arena. When someone has children to prove they had sex or that their “boys” can swim. These people are easy to identify – they usually say bingo like, “You’re not childfree! You just can’t find anyone to fuck you!”
Fuctuplets
Birth of multiples where kids come out with health problems. Can be anywhere from triplets to octuplets.
Fur-baby
A child conceived during a Furry baby dance; may be born with a tail, hooves, or snout, possibly with the ability to draw anime-grade depictions of personified animals performing lewd actions with incredibly veiny members. Some object to this term.
Fussing quietly
Sarcastic term describing a child obnoxiously screeching at the top of their lungs, especially in a public venue such as a cinema or theatre.
Gayby boom
A recent increase in the number and visibility of lesbian and gay parents.
Glass ceiling, lowering the glass ceiling
In employment, discrimination by which the ability of some groups of workers to obtain promotions upward in an organization is limited as if by some sort of invisible obstacle or barrier. Often employed in reference to sexual discrimination, where workers who put mommyhood first and the job second are seen as perpetuating unfavourable stereotypes through their actions (or "lowering the glass ceiling") to the detriment of their colleagues who are there to work.
Golden Boy
This is the son born to some sexist jerk who thinks he MUST have a son, and no daughter will be good enough, and then when he finally gets the son, he spoils him rotten.
Golden Sprog
This is any child who is overly worshiped by the parents or other family members.
Grandbaby Rabies
When someone is desperate to have grandchildren, we call them having “grandbaby rabies”. Often childfree people have parents like this.
Handler
A parent. Someone who was supposed to be keeping an eye on the brat, in loco parentis.
Hellspawn
A particularly annoying and ill-behaved child.
Hipmoo
A reference to hipmama.com, an attachment parenting-oriented website, and its users. The original founder of the "hip mama" magazine, Ariel Gore, was once a pregnant teen. See placenta brain.
Homeskool
Mocking term used to make fun of "home schooling" by implying those kids don't learn to spell (or much of anything else). Home schooling might work in some situations, but total idiots who are barely literate themselves who are (supposedly) home schooling are the ones we mock.
IDWIYO
Stands for “It’s different when it’s your own” – often used very sarcastically. We know its bunk, or there wouldn’t be so many children killed or abused by their parents.
Kid plague
Illness resulting from being around a child and their near-constant state of germiness and infection.
Kinderspullen
All the kid-related items that parents must cart around or which are discarded, from cheap plastic toys in garish colours to strollers and diapers.
Kinderwhore
A young girl "tarted up" for the amusement of her parents.
Kodak Moments
Some people think about having kids and think of all the special times they will have. Such as a guy wanting a son to take out and teach to play football, or a woman wanting a little girl to dress her up in pretty clothes and help her plan her wedding. These ideal moments that people visualize are known as Kodak Moments but are not based in any kind of reality.
Larva, larvae
Babies or children.
Little Dar(win)lings
Stupid children doing dangerous things.
Li’l Sizzler
This is the term for children who are left to die in hot cars by their parents. A child who died by way of being left in a car on a nice summer day.
Litter
Usually refers to a multiple birth, but can also refer to a family with a lot of children.
Lowing
Female breeders whining and bitching. Also known as "mooing."
McMansion
A "starter castle". A large and pretentious suburban house, typically of shoddy construction and badly proportioned pastiches of different styles. Most often mass-produced from cookie-cutter designs. As the epithet McMansion suggests, they’re just too big for their lots and for their neighbourhoods. They are often placed closely together to maximize the developer's profits and appeal to people who value perceived social status over actual, physical, economic or historic value.[4]
Modest Proposal, The
Named for Jonathan Swift's classic essay A Modest Proposal. The virtual restaurant of alt.support.childfree, where children are quite literally served. "Does anyone have recipes for a healthy, low fat appetizer that I can take to a Super Bowl party? This sounds like a catering job for the Modest Proposal!"
Mombie
Combination of the words Mommy and Zombie. Occasionally used to describe a woman with placenta brain: she's turned into a "mombie".
Mommy Identity
When a woman's entire identity is wrapped up in being a mother. She'll go to great lengths to make her kids totally dependent on her for as long as possible to secure that identity out of fear she'll have to get a new identity and/or get a job.
Mommyism
A form of feminism that focuses on getting special rights for mommies and screwing over childfree women and men in the process. Mommies want flextime in the office, but don't think anyone but them should get it.
Mommy track
In employment, a group of workers for whom motherhood comes first and job responsibilities come second. In many fields of endeavour, little more than a career dead-end. Typically refers to various positions, typically low ranking, in which these workers are over-represented. See also glass ceiling
Mommy Voice
The voice some breeder women use when they talk to you in a snotty, superior tone as if they were speaking to one of their children. Makes you feel sorry for their kids.
Moo
A female breeder, a BNP female, a breeder woman, "mother obsessed with offspring", "mother with obnoxious offspring" or "mother oblivious to offspring." Also mombie. [5]
Mooing
Female breeders whining and bitching. The act of bitching, when done by a moo. Also known as "bleating" or "lowing."
Moomie
A term for a mother with bad parenting skills. Sometimes used for any mother.
Moovan
Slang term for Minivan.
Nipplecrunchers
Babies, breastfeeding babies.
Noseminer
A child.
Oblivamoo
An "oblivious moo", totally clueless about how to be a parent or consistently turning a blind eye to her child's bad behaviour.
Oops, oopsing
Conception by deception. A pregnancy that was planned by one partner by way of tricking the other. To entrap an unsuspecting partner by intentionally getting pregnant. The perpetrator typically pretends it’s an accident. Many guys have fears that some woman will “oops” them. It is also possible for a guy to “oops” a woman by sabotaging her birth control.
OPC
Other People's Children. Obviously for childfree, that means ALL children, but occasionally childfree people use the term, or you might see a parent use it on a childfree board or a debate board.
Pampermobile, Pampervan
A vehicle filled with kids, such as the 'moovans' or 'sprog utility vehicles' driven by parents. Despite the marketers’ colourful descriptions, most of these vehicles legally classify as trucks. "It's not a sports car, it wasn't raised by sports cars nor does it have the soul of a sports car. You f-'ed up and now you drive a Pampervan" in the words of one a.s.cf'er laughing at a stoplight at this vehicle's operator and the distinctive "smell of sour milk and doodie".
Parasite
A foetus or embryo.
Parent
One with children who behaves in a non-obnoxious manner regarding their children, and who is considered to have brought up those children well. A person who manages to have/adopt children and take care of them properly. Some Childfree persons do not make the distinction between this and "breeder", above.
Placenta brain
A debilitating disease that afflicts many women when they have children. Symptoms include a narrow-minded point of view that espouses the necessity of making the world "child-friendly", a strong sense of entitlement for simply having reproduced, inability to talk about anything but their pregnancy or child, losing all hobbies outside of their children, inability to hire a babysitter, lack of consideration for other people and saying really stupid things in one endless moment of idiocy. Can also happen to men with children. Occasionally this condition clears up when the children enter school, but in many cases the patient never recovers.
Planet Breedback
Consumer-complaint websites, such as planetfeedback.com, in the context of abuse of these forums by breeders with an ingrained sense of entitlement. Often, users post vitriolic complaints against service-industry personnel who wouldn't give them undeserved freebies or who had the nerve to ask that a screaming infant be taken outside instead of being allowed to continue disturbing other paying clients.
PNB
"parent, not breeder": someone who takes care of his or her children properly – in other words, a good parent. Also used is the acronym BNP, meaning the reverse.
Pussfruit
A baby.
Replacement Value
Replacement value is two children. Many breeders will say they are only having two children, to replace themselves and their spouse, thus THEY aren’t causing overpopulation. Unless they both intend to drop dead the moment the brats arrive, this is largely illusory.
Repugnant
(adj.) Pregnant.
Repugnant Party
US Republican Party, traditionally perceived to be an ally of various right-wing religious groups and their "go forth and multiply" agenda.
Reverse oops, reverse oopsing
A deception based on entering a sexual relationship with someone who wants or may want kids while conveniently "forgetting" to tell them about a trip to a vasectomy clinic or a permanent sterilization. A reference to "oopsing" (above), in which one partner discontinues birth control without disclosing this to the other - implicit is a confident presumption that a sterile partner is relatively invulnerable to being "oops"ed by anyone. [6]
Rita Lynne, Rytalynne
(as a child's name) A reference to Ritalin, a drug often overprescribed to hyperactive kids.
Rubella
As a hypothetical child name, just another entry for the "I don't know what it means, but it sounds pretty" philosophy of baby-naming.
Rywanda
Hypothetically, a child's name. Originally from My Baby Don't Want No Medicine, an Onion article which coined the name as a variant of the African country name "Rwanda".
SAHM, SAHMoo
“Stay at Home Mommy” (or “Stay at Home Moo”). Women with kids who don’t work but don’t want to be called “housewives” because that would mean they love their husband more than their kids. They call themselves “Stay At Home Mommies” even though they spend all day at the shopping mall and eating out.
Sanctimommy
A term used by parents and breeders, "entitlemoo" to the childfree.
Shitfactory, shitstain
A baby.
Shrieklynn, Screechlynne
(as a child's name) A loud, screaming, crying or shreiking infant or child.
Shriekling
A loud, bawling, mewling, shrieking, whining, braying, screaming, screeching or yelling child. A congregation of shrieklings is referred to as a "nest" as in: "Last week I moved into a house that is next door to a nest of shrieklings."
SITCOM
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. This is a term to describe breeders who both have jobs, buy the big house, have the two kids; and then decide that one of the breeders should quit the job and stay home to actually try to 'parent' the kids.
Small Humanoid Vermin (or SHV)
Child.
S-Moo-V, sproggenwagen, sprog utility vehicle
A massive sport-utility vehicle that large families tend to have in order for the parents to be proper chauffeurs. Filled with baby paraphernalia, old drive-through food, or abandoned toys. Owned by someone who uses it for the sole purpose of ferrying children around, it is driven erratically by a parent focusing more attention on a cell phone or the children in the back than on the road all around him/her.
SMUM
Smart, Middle-Class, Uninvolved Mother. Basically, the yuppie, suburbanite mothers.
Snip
Term for getting sterilized, either vasectomy or tubal ligation.
Snapper
A child or baby, commonly used in Dublin, Ireland. Ihe term usr became widespread in the 90's after the publication of the Roddy Doyle book and film of the same name.
Snivelly-drivelly
A dual purpose word. It can mean a child that is whining for little or no reason ("I noticed a snivelly drivelly in the back seat as I got into the car.") as well as an adult who turns to watery pablum the second a child starts to... well snivel. ("When she saw the expression on Snotleigh's face, she went all snivelly drivelly.") The double use of the word underlines that they share a common mentality.
Snool
A combination of snot and drool that babies emit. "The baby snooled all down its bib."
Snoteater
A child.
Snotgoblin
One of many intentionally derogatory terms for a child, usually a bratty or otherwise ill-behaved one. Other terms include (but not exclusively): crotch dropping, yard ape, fuck trophy, rug rat, carpet shark, flesh loaf.
Snotleigh
also Snotley, hypothetical child name.
Snotlicker
A child.
Snotminer
A minor. A child.
Solomon
Biblical king of legendary wisdom, best known for the speedy resolution of a baby-custody dispute by simply proposing to chop the child in half.
Spawn, vermin
Child(ren).
Sperm ’n egg omelette
Baby.
Sperm Donor
The father. Sometimes used to describe a man who didn’t want to actually RAISE kids, he just had them for the Kodak moments or to please the wife. Also used to describe how some women only use men (even their husbands) for their sperm.
Sprog
(verb) To give birth.
Sprog, sproggen, sprogdolyte
(noun) A term used to depict a young human who disgraces the term "child," thus the need for an alternate term. Some other examples of these alternate terms include ankle-biter, crotch-dropping, crotch-dumpling, crotch-muffin, flesh-loaf, fuck-trophy, hell-sproggen, snot-goblin, sprogleigh, sproglet, twat-dropping etc. A British word meaning "child", a neutral term for a random child. While it is generally non-derogatory in UK English, non-childfree North Americans can find it offensive. In naval slang, a newbie or rookie. Along the same lines, ankle biter is used neutrally in Australia, but North Americans also tend to see it as offensive.
Sproggenfrau
A woman who derives her identity and self-worth from her children.
Squall★Mart
A slight modification on the name of a well-known Arkansas-based department store chain; the change is to reflect the largish number of breeders bringing loud, squalling infants into the store. While these stores typically do provide plenty of stork parking, the "morning-after pill" had long been conspicuously absent from the store pharmacy's shelves.
Stork parking, stork spot
Any parking that is reserved for pregnant women or women with children. You know, anything that encourages them to get as little exercise as possible. We wouldn’t want our young mothers to be HEALTHY, would we?
SUV stroller
A large, unwieldy, ridiculously tricked-out pram. Any huge, oversized stroller, usually uncollapsable and pushed with unthinking gusto, as if it were an assault vehicle. On buses or in restaurants, these block entire aisles. Parents apparently need to overcompensate for shortcomings in other areas by showing they have the largest stroller. Half the time the kid isn’t even in the stroller – they use it for a shopping cart.
THINKER
Two healthy incomes, no kids, early retirement.
THJITW
“The Hardest Job in the World”. Mantra of the Stay-at-home-mommies to make themselves feel less insecure about not working. If they weren’t so insecure, they wouldn’t have to claim they are superior to everyone else. One can easily think of far more arduous tasks than sitting at home with your own kids – like being forced to watch someone else’s bratty kids that you don’t like and aren’t allowed to discipline or scold in any way. So apparently there ARE harder jobs in the world – like being a day-care provider.
Tit-nazi
Overzealous breeders who are obsessed with breastfeeding in public, bullying other women into breastfeeding, and bullying businesses into relaxing their public decency laws to allow them to whip their tits out in public. Generally very angry people with too much time on their hands, who like to scream things such as "Breast is Best", fancy breastfeeding in public without using anything to cover themselves or enjoy posting breastfeeding images online, much to the annoyance of the general public. Tit-nazi meetings, consisting of the women gathering in the middle of a store to breastfeed their boob-munchers in their topless manner, are not unheard-of.
TMIJITW
“The Most Important Job in the World”. Mantra of Stay-at-home-mommies to make themselves feel less insecure about not working. Most of these women couldn’t last a day without disposable diapers, DVD players and their monster-sized strollers, so apparently there ARE more important jobs in the world – like the manufacture of disposable diapers, DVD players and strollers. A derisive synonym for parenting, the term is used as a facetious echo of parents who attempt to elevate the importance of their occupation to unrealistic heights.
TOFAS
Too Old For A Stroller: kids that are four or five (or older!) who are too lazy to walk; their parental units give in to this behaviour and wheel them around.
Troll
Someone who hangs out on a website just to pick fights. Usenet trolls are notorious for cross-posting one inflammatory message to a set of opposed or unrelated groups, such as news:alt.support.childfree and news:misc.kids, in such a way that all responses also are unwittingly sent to both groups. In the childfree case, it would be any breeder person who is bored and joins CF boards to insult and belittle everyone and to proclaim their kids are perfect. In some cases, the breeder troll will start out playing nice, but eventually lash out at everyone.
TTC
Breeder term that stands for "Trying To Conceive". Occasionally you'll see this term on a CF board when quoting or mocking a breeder.
Über-boober
Another term for tit-nazi, used by parents and non-tit-nazi breeders
Vasectomy housing
A housing or apartment development in which, by design, none of the units are suitable for occupancy by more than one or two people. Typically this community does not include playgrounds or other childlike amenities; even where children can't lawfully be prohibited as residents, the community offers little to appeal to them or their families. For municipalities, there is a tacit awareness that such construction can represent a solid source of tax revenue without any significant investment in new elementary or secondary schools.
Vatican roulette
The rhythm method, as advocated by churches which oppose reliable birth control and oppose abortion.
Waahmbulance
A hypothetical emergency vehicle that can be called for when the self-esteem of a child or parent is tragically harmed by the terms above or the even more offensive word 'no.'
WAHM, WAHD
Work at home mother or father. We use the word “work” here loosely. Mostly it’s just an excuse to sit at home and play with the kids while not really getting anything done. (Admittedly there are SOME who can pull it off, but they are few and far between.)
Wallet
The husband of a SAHM; she uses him as nothing more than a paycheque. Also could be used to describe someone paying child support.
Wannabreed, Wannabreeder
Anyone who wants kids, but for whatever reason doesn’t have them. Infertility, age, or inability to get a partner.
Welfare moo
One to whom each "new arrival" means a larger payout from various public assistance programmes.
Womban
Technically, any woman who has at least one kid, although more specifically used to describe gals with kids that want "special rights" to go along with that. Women who actually believe a woman's only/highest purpose in life is to breed and derive their entire identity from their pussfruit. They may as well be wombs on legs. This term is used when you don't want to malign the whole female gender: just the ones who are the problem. The plural is "Womben".
Whelp
To give birth. An implicit comparison to the breeding of animals, such as dogs, in litters.
Whelp leave
Maternity leave. In employment law, a provision that allows pregnant workers to voluntarily walk off the job for months (in Canada, a full year leeching unemployment insurance benefits, in Europe often more) and demand that the job still be waiting for them if and when they return. In many US companies, so long as the "worker" continues the pretext that they intend to return after the end of this leave, they continue to receive group insurance and other company-funded benefits. This creates an incentive for an employee to demand the position be left open for their return, even if the worker plans to resign later.
Yabbut
A parent or parent-defender who argues monotonously. ("Yabbut, SOME children cry on planes. My Bratley NEVER cries on planes…")
YCYM
"You'll Change Your Mind", a common objection directed against patients seeking surgical sterilization (tubal ligation or vasectomy). Some medical practitioners, for whatever reason, seem to perceive young adults and childfree persons as being likely to regret the procedure later in life. One notable pattern: YCYM is rarely or never directed at those trying to conceive, but directed often at those making the commitment never to do so. There's even an entire book (I Want a Baby, He Doesn't: How Both Partners Can Make the Right Decision at the Right Time ISBN 9781593372873) advising women on how to pressure, manipulate and all-but-coerce a reluctant spouse into pursuing vasovasostomy, a somewhat-unreliable vasectomy-reversal operation based on costly and medically-intrusive microsurgery.
YMMV
Your Mileage May Vary. A standard disclaimer.
Yuppie larva, yuppie larvae (pl)
A spoiled child or children of any age. Trust fund kids, pre-law and MBA students driving trendy little cars Mommy and Daddy paid for. Soi-disant environmentalists preach how everyone else should live, then cart their yuppie larvæ to soccer in huge, gas-guzzling SUVs.

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